C\journal

white light flickers/weak core

2011-09-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

weak abs core leads to poor posture and lower back pain.
strengthening workout will help to ease the pain.....slowly...

:c

i can't help it but i needed this space.

2011-08-06T03:56:00.000+08:00

when in doubt, don't buy

2011-06-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

1. 6 days

2. heavy heavy heart

3. reports

4. 1-1

5. speed

6. coma

7. numb

8. 325 325 325

9. o o o

10. empty

blue diamond

2011-06-06T21:58:00.001+08:00

~~action xia. Kanasai.~~

mr carperter

2011-06-01T01:42:00.000+08:00

i have the sudden urge to make drawers made of plywood!

void

2011-05-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

between happiness and loneliness
between needs and satisfaction
what are you seeking?

the 5 reasons why allah swt tests us

2011-05-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them. Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1. God uses problems to DIRECT you.
Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change. Is God trying to get your attention? “Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways.”

2. God uses problems to INSPECT you.
People are like tea bags…if you want to know what’s inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about
you? “When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience.”

3. God uses problems to CORRECT you.
Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It’s likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove…. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something… health, money, a relationship. .. by losing it. “It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws.”

4. God uses problems to PROTECT you.
A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management’s actions were eventually discovered. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…

5. God uses problems to PERFECT you.
Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you’re going to take with you into eternity. “We can rejoice when we run into problems…they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of characer in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.”

as it is, just like the way i am.

2011-05-08T02:30:00.000+08:00

being there, up on the mundane walls for you to see. chances. grab it!

out of the line

2011-05-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

and going back in, out of the line and going back in again.

every encounter

2011-04-25T07:27:00.000+08:00

juggling personalities/discovering strengths and pushing weaknesses/

~~i'm not sure how long i can last.~~

new sight arrived!

2011-04-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

with a lovely button and a hand-drawn portrait of its' new owner wearing the glasses! simply awesome!

kaki lima

2011-04-16T03:01:00.001+08:00

you need to detach yourself

awaiting

2011-04-09T00:02:00.000+08:00

bhuasgakUWBDSJNHDjhhgdsuywuiqpshsgiyugdsvsy

fail to articulate

some color theory

2011-04-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

perhaps i am color blind. disabled or or simply fail to see? the kid said, 'i love you' many times to me.

9:09

2011-03-30T02:19:00.000+08:00

think this through

to peel layer by layer

2011-03-29T02:56:00.000+08:00

scratch\black\noise\2:52\death\waiting tables\eyes\forgetting\renew\vanilla umbrella\stiff d\efil

collecting ~~gift wraps~~ patterns, lines and shapes

family function

2011-03-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

"eh lul, all of your relatives know me already ahh....oh my this is so convenient if only you're a guy...we can simply get married"

"when you talked about marrying me, is it out of love or comfort?"

"fyi, that kinda question would trigger arguments in a relationship."

"so am i pissing you off now?"

"well, i've known you for 10 years.. definitely there's a lot more to understand about you..it's not easy to understand you. all along these years,there's a progression of understanding you. your new acquaintance won't be able to figure out but i know..because it's all about a matter of time. "

blah blah blah.....in the end she said, "it will definitely be out of love."

quality(emotional independence) over presence/absence

prussian blue

2011-03-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

dismissing. positive self-model. negative other-model. i don't need you but i am not cold-hearted either.

will/strength

2011-03-24T03:24:00.001+08:00

it is so crystal clear you should know exactly what to choose.not.

will/strength

2011-03-24T03:23:00.000+08:00

it is so crystal clear you should know exactly what to choose.not.

razor sharp elbows

2011-03-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

temporary relief. she thought my body was a playground. she put her weight down and tried to fly. my shoulders are aching terribly now.

heart is warm

2011-03-18T02:10:00.000+08:00

some things can only be seen with faith. faith won't fail.

raw passion

2011-03-15T10:38:00.000+08:00

i was listening from afar. it was comforting as my feelings were stirred.

b is for blue

2011-03-15T01:43:00.000+08:00

http://www.etsy.com/listing/64273895/vintage-womens-50s-sky-blue-cat-eye
http://www.etsy.com/listing/61516959/vintage-bausch-an-lomb-grey-hornrim

it feels like there is a tangled string in my head

2011-03-06T22:33:00.000+08:00

discomfort all over

empty bin/crazy aesthetics/lack of

2011-03-05T01:06:00.000+08:00

spaces, so many ways of looking into them
and as of now, there are two individuals in my mind who matched the links

prussian blue prussian blue prussian blue

something pretty

2011-03-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

the thought of it

none

2011-02-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

open.

painful strokes

2011-02-18T03:04:00.000+08:00

i almost didn't want to wake up. i tried to be clear with my thoughts therefore i asked. you said anything.
but you were petrified when i showed them to you.

i am not a robot and i never wanted to be.

contact X. X, X.

2011-02-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

"i remember your bracelet."
"why would you wanna remember my bracelet?"
"because i'll always remember you."

iced cold

2011-02-05T02:36:00.000+08:00

transparent

2011-02-02T23:42:00.000+08:00

issues

2011-02-02T03:01:00.000+08:00

the clock is ticking and i am yearning for 15
but somehow, it had to stop
the in betweens are terribly draining me out
between pushing and pulling
and falling down and getting back up again
it is a chase
between you and me

emotions are triggered by perspective

2011-01-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

http://crlykd.blogspot.com/2011/01/forty-9.html

she may be right. yes but no. she must be mad. high expectations of her little stubborn daughter. when i looked at her, i don't even know what to feel. it can be problematic being nice.
:-{

people won't forget how you make them feel

2011-01-24T01:09:00.000+08:00

pick me up! pick me up!

it falls, the numbers...they falls in place

2011-01-17T07:28:00.000+08:00

my mind is too cluttered enough. i need a tidy workspace, at least a decent sleep and more fuel to last me throughout the week.

beez

2011-01-13T04:07:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I found an inspiration at the supermarket! I am getting crafty and all I ever needed was a key word. :}

Being there...

2011-01-07T22:34:00.001+08:00

A few nights ago, we talked about feelings and welcoming chances. Realization. And earlier on, while searching for my brand new sight, i saw you. Momentary vision. I saw your eyes, your mouth, your hair and your nose. I was observing you with my heart. The way you would stand and the way you would walk...he triggered me to think of you.

drop the beat!

2011-01-04T16:54:00.000+08:00

my aunt & i will be conducting zumba classes for the fellow ladies and this song is up for one of our routines!!
goofygroovy song!

new decade

2011-01-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

http://crlykd.blogspot.com *updated!

2011,

increase productivity.

through time instead of on time

more zumba.

subject/solitude/space/isolate?

2010-12-24T09:00:00.000+08:00

i slept early last night and woke up on time. i didn't go back to sleep after that. i cycled, had breakfast and got some inspiration. got rid of dried paint from my palette. that's quite a big deal for me these days.

old flame and yam

2010-12-14T23:22:00.001+08:00

new. it tasted new/

tear the jerk

2010-12-06T02:58:00.003+08:00

14 3/6 5:29
15 2/6 6:08

it eats me up

tornado at dufan!

2010-12-06T02:57:00.000+08:00

soda susu!

2010-12-06T01:51:00.002+08:00

departure

arrival x phatfam

3 hours ride from jakarta to bandung on the night of arrival

baths in bandung were teeth clenching..freezin..we slow mo krumpin' as we took our bath. water heater @ 21 degree Celsius. water-cooler baths.

the view from the balcony

facade of villa

sun shining bright in the morning

the not-so-safe staircase

mini garden at the villa

horsee at tangkuban parahu

apple of everyones' eyes

"ingat sama arippp ya ibu...beli beli.' don't start man. the moment you buy something from one of them, the rest will come to you.

tangkuban parahu, still an active volcano.. check out the sulphur

tourists

agriculture

walls tetap walls.

the best nasi padang. in fact, we had the best meal EVER here during our 5 days vacation

pay for what you eat. we ate everything that's served.

THE BEST CRISPY JUICY CUCUMBER I EVER TASTED!

CHICKS! EFFING CUTE!

human chain

last night in bandung

bits of jakarta

majet

single bed that i had to share wit my bro

the view from the balcony

before dufan! (dunia fantasi)

entering istana boneka (didn't cross my mind that boneka = dolls!) it was freaky (for me) :/

my favorite ride in dufan! tornado!!

when it flipped over, we were all face down to the ground. we were off our seats and our body clinged onto the 'seat fasterner?'

best fish fillet!

grilled. the chicken in indo are of course not injected with hormones. for the drumstick, 5 bites and you're done.

new friend, hendru in gray unkle347 tee

there's more to see in jakarta and bandung. i'll be back for sure.

tengking tengking

2010-11-25T12:19:00.000+08:00

curled up to the knees. i'm not sure what i'm feeling.

mellow monday

2010-11-17T00:12:00.004+08:00

The fact that my sunday wasn't as productive, monday had to be better. Surprisingly, I didn't raised my voice at them. They had terribly short attention span.

His strokes were vigorously calm yet thoughtless while hers was raw. She couldn't explain about positioning the sun right behind the whale but I'm certain it's sunset. 3 years old.

1150am, "What's your name?" He liked it that One dot accident and you blabbered nonsense . .My antenna says.....I couldn't catch it. For a moment, my way,

salvage

2010-11-15T01:22:00.000+08:00

Sunday wasn't a productive day at all. unsettling.

you got who?

2010-11-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

there is a void

2010-11-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

The kids were lovely but i almost ran out of patience because time was not on our side. Their pieces broke and most of them had to redo several times. I could still hear their Miss Huda, my clay harden Miss Huda, i had difficulties shaping the slab Miss Huda, we won't be painting today?

My heart is heavy. There is void. I wandered around the self-help section and found it. Sigh. In the train while on my way home, i tried to distract this sinking feeling by immersing myself in The time traveler's wife. How should i let her know?

Not every girl wants to be in a relationship. Some just want good company, a guy to vibe with, converse with, & laugh with. Not in a rush. Start off simple, and let the rest find itself. Having someone to talk to and feeling comfortable around them is quite beautiful, and it’s a good feeling.

nausea.

2010-11-09T23:53:00.000+08:00

It was one of a kind. She was right. She was the only one who could understand me well. My parents were right too. I could't help it that my indifference and unpredictability could land me in such a state.

She once said that it should be effortless.

i don't like the scent of coconut and almost everything about it except for its juice

2010-11-09T05:02:00.000+08:00

i need to tell him about the end. the beginning is the end. i don't quite like the idea of running around and exhausting myself for not knowing where i'll be. i hope staying put would calm me down.

we painted last night and i really think I've found myself a great partner. of strength and weaknesses. for what it is worth, i think it is going to be amazing.

when they were young...

2010-11-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

my grandparents! she was 15 and he was 28. i never get to meet him in person and this is my first time seeing a younger photo of him!

60mins

2010-11-03T05:59:00.000+08:00

4am almost everyday! i keep reminding myself that pasir ris is not that far at all! hah! what can you do during a 60mins train rides? i ran out of songs to listen to.

fireflies and empty skies

2010-10-31T23:40:00.000+08:00

"i hope this will be you last time."

"yes, it's so expensive."

"the drums?"

"yeah not the game."

"explosion in the sky?"

"god is an astronaut?"

i hang on to the last few words. i never want to come back again.

momentary vision,...yes you were, you were, you were!

"see you again, but outside, not inside!"

"yes."

formspring.me

2010-10-28T23:55:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/14forty

a new beginning!

2010-10-25T09:09:00.002+08:00

week 1.

like never before

2010-10-14T01:52:00.000+08:00

it's been awhile and the moment she pounced on me, i almost almost choked on my own saliva. i've been messing some things up and these days i'm starting to feel so drained.

you can starve for 2 weeks and it won't kill you but 10 days straight without sleep can kill.

only he knows

2010-10-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

it was insane. the whole incident really happened for a reason. and it got us all ______________________.

the abundance of nothingness

2010-10-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

new stuffs added to 14:40

pause and ponder

2010-10-01T03:26:00.001+08:00

So when the time is hard
There's no way to turn
As HE promise HE will always be there
To bless us with HIS love and HIS mercy
Coz, as HE promise HE will always be there
HE's always watching us, guiding us
And HE knows what's in all in our heart

Look inside yourselves
Such a perfect order
Hiding in yourselves
Running in your veins
What about anger love and pain
And all the things you're feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?
Lets start question in ourselves
Isn't this proof enough for us
Or are we so blind

So why deny
Whats in front of your eyes

Every time
You feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost and that you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless you can't see which way to go
Don't despair
And never lose hope
'Cause Allah is always by your side

Chorus:
Insha Allah
Insha Allah
Insha Allah
You'll find your way

Every time
You commit one more mistake
You feel you can't repent and that it's way too late
You're so confused
Wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full shame
But don't despair
And never lose hope
Coz Allah is always by your side

Chorus

Turn to Allah
He's never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Ya Allah
Guide my steps, don't let me go astray
You're the only one who can show me the way
Show me the way
Show me the way
Show me the way

InshaAllah
InshaAllah
InshaAllah
We'll find the way

nothing came to me secure

2010-09-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

the kiddos did this in class, salad spinner mobile! and i never knew that the salad spinner existed before this! hah.

prussian blue smudges

cacat hands.. it was tricky to draw the hands using chinese brush. boo!

convo convo!

2010-09-23T09:55:00.000+08:00

happy birthday

2010-09-22T08:31:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWcKB8tLrEs

and so today's the day.

get your flash on

2010-09-19T19:50:00.000+08:00

http://www.eleykishimoto.com/shop/index.php?_a=viewProd&productId=308

eid mubarak' 10

2010-09-19T00:54:00.000+08:00

translation.

2010-08-29T10:30:00.000+08:00

hujan/stapler/sb/nungguin/sigh.

nerve-wreck

2010-08-27T01:57:00.003+08:00

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

it has been very still

2010-08-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

time? indifference?

heart is open

2010-08-14T16:20:00.000+08:00

and everything else doesn't seem to be of any significance.

pros e cut or prncs

2010-08-06T05:13:00.000+08:00

13(7/7) and almost the whole of 14.

actuallly ko jambu siols

2010-08-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

jj si kudutz
ma'am
eesonoiseee
jj si kudutz
jj si kudutz

gimana?

2010-07-26T02:26:00.002+08:00

_____________________|_________________________________________________|_________________________________________________________|__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________|

u rge

2010-07-20T04:14:00.000+08:00

“Did it ever occur to you that you’re so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you’ve never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?”

—	Dawsons Creek

Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secret of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in the four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of these is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably.” - Walt Disney

It's quite unsettling not knowing what and how to do it. But it's even worst not knowing what you really want. I know what i want but perhaps,something is just getting in the way.

2010-07-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other…Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever-dave matthews

Not every girl wants to be in a relationship. Some just want good company, a guy to vibe with, converse with, & laugh with. Not in a rush. Start off simple, and let the rest find itself. Having someone to talk to and feeling comfortable around them is quite beautiful, and it’s a good feeling.

will you still love me tomorrow

2010-07-16T04:32:00.002+08:00

http://www.substation.org/loveletters/

You are totally a girly girl.You are a girl next door.

2010-07-16T00:55:00.001+08:00

Cookies n Cream Ice Cream
You are a sweet person. People like you for your innocence and charming nature. You appreciate the finer things in life. You are a practical person, but at times you are emotional. You get nostalgic about your past. You will be successful in romance.

It seems to be more than friendship. Try to find out if he feels the same. You are a very romantic girl. Your guy is lucky to have you in his life. Way to go! Yes, he does seem to have a soft corner for you. Wait for few days and try to know him better. See how the friendship progresses before you think ahead. He may like you a lot. Maybe he is not showing it. Keep your fingers crossed in this relationship. Let time tell you whether he really loves you. Wow, you are head over heels in love with that special person in your life. Why don't you propose to him/her right away?You are not so easy to please but you aren't too stubborn either. You like to think a bit and don't act too dumb. Both of you do not seem to be more than just friends. You don't connect so well.

y

2010-07-15T02:52:00.000+08:00

'whole-hearted happiness' in progress\\\\\\\

2010-07-14T05:44:00.000+08:00

it doesn't frighten you. it pleases you.

2010-07-14T02:47:00.000+08:00

it was painful to go back there where it all started. you felt the same way and i brought you somewhere else. the mysteries ended and the amazement started with only one joint qualification. Passion.
same old stuffs every night but it's going to be slightly different now, i hope. i've started to paint again. keep my spirits high.

crying grrls

2010-07-12T04:08:00.000+08:00

'I don't want anything more than to see your face when you ____________________________'

it's been pulling me back and forth, falling up and down and I am losing grip. amuse me. enlighten me. broaden my horizons.

you were there, fading away in my dreams. this feeling has never been so overwhelming. I'm in deep shiet.

a different route. close to clueless.

2010-07-09T01:53:00.000+08:00

something was pulling me to the edge and i was helpless. you saw it all. you could read me easily.

critical phase

2010-07-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

be merry.

Moi je joue

2010-07-01T05:43:00.002+08:00

NEWSPAPER BLACKOUT

2010-07-01T02:17:00.001+08:00

WHAT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND READ ALL OVER AGAIN?

enam puluh

2010-06-29T10:08:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYgBKyYpONA&feature=related

coco & marc - photos by Gary Chai & Nick Ng

2010-06-29T09:38:00.001+08:00

"we all have possibilities we don't know about. we can do things we don't even dream we can do."

2010-06-24T17:15:00.002+08:00

robert kiyosaki

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-06-23T08:22:00.003+08:00

t i m e

2010-06-22T03:42:00.000+08:00

your voice is just so tender

2010-06-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

in between embarrassment and letting go

all smiles now, just try to visualize. amuse me.

who are the mighty 5?

heavy

2010-06-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

i was so gasping for air.

the need to be

2010-06-20T08:45:00.000+08:00

if only i came earlier and stood there to wait...for them

then, i didn't realized how important it was to be there.

because, chances are what people have to find for themselves.

at that point of time, what was i thinking?

talk it out to the folks

2010-06-20T08:14:00.000+08:00

guilty. when in doubt, always always ask and spill your thoughts out. to be blessed is all that i could ever ask for.

skeptical bloodsuckers

2010-06-15T23:37:00.002+08:00

it is about wanting to catch two bunnies and not getting any at the end of the day.

19 and 5, mad and sad.

2010-06-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

you let me punch you but i would rather______________________.

"hey mister, perut aku sakit uh, rabak.period."

"tsk. go and do something about it lah."

"so not helping lorh! i was so seeking for comfort!"

what will happen if we destabilize the bull? the bull, he had been great and supporting. it's like the reflection of the crab and the bull. it's similar.

she once said, "aku tak tau ni j ke apasial."

but the black and white letters stated the boundaries.

and which you knew that i'm not in that zone.

i'm just really silly, aren't i?

i tumblr-ed upon this particular quote, "there is melancholy behind every enthusiasm."

seriously?

the charming one

2010-06-11T03:44:00.001+08:00

Is it part of the plan?

In the plan, the one who's supposed to be part of it,

Is he in line already?

I have never heard of it. The way you said it.

harimau duduk babi datang

2010-06-09T01:38:00.001+08:00

intriguing hands and intriguing minds

challenging convos and soft punches

i was amazed.

dark chocolate and bomb

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

time is equivalent to emotions.

you won't even spare a minute

to do something that never want to.

however, out of your hectic schedule,

you are able to to find and make time

to meet someone special and important.

also, you will find time to do something

that matters to you.

it is true that time is equivalent to emotions,

don't you think so?

out of the directed path and out of character

2010-06-04T09:30:00.000+08:00

i will be numb to rejections and indifference. slightly thick-skinned like he would always say.

am i right to say?

2010-06-01T00:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my first and it felt great. i desire for more. it feels nice. i wanna do it again.

LMAO. but really, you can never understand. it was comforting and it gives me a sense of security! HAH!